1. Sonnet 21
I’m not the type of poet who is going to use tacky, un-original lines like comparing a woman to a flower. Basically I’m not *cough cough* Petrarch. My poetry comes from deep within my heart and soul, the way I feel about this woman is portrayed in my writing and every word is passionately and carefully chosen. Petrarch writes about women who are shallow and dull, women who paint their faces with too much make-up. I write about women who are fascinating therefore worth writing about. Beat that!
2. Sonnet 138
The narrator of this sonnet is Hugh Hefner. He is discussing the relationship he has between one of his bunnies and himself. He knows she’s not interested in him, he’s ancient and she’s so… young is barely scratching the surface. He knows she’s seeing other men, but why would he say anything? He’s been young, he’s had multiple lovers, if she makes him happy while she’s with him, why should it matter if she wants to experiment? I’d pull the “ignorance is bliss” card on this sonnet.
3. Sonnet 3
This sonnet seems like something that would be read, repeated, and taught in some sort of church sexual education, with the addition of the importance of matrimony, of course. Translation:
Look in the mirror.
Now is the time when you are in your prime.
You must begin searching for a life mate to begin progeny with.
A child will be a part of you, that will be carried on even after your death. Everlasting youth. Men, it is for this reason that you must find a virgin to guarantee purity in your offspring. Why would anyone want to remain single and childless throughout their entire lives? Your DNA is part of your mothers, pass hers on with yours. Make her live again.
This is your time to guarantee that you will be remembered.
Make babies. Lots of them.
Amen.
4. Sonnet 130
I’m sitting on my couch with my closest friend Robyn in my living room painting my nails and watching a documentary about Buddism or the universe or the education system. I’m talking about my new found lesbian lover. Telling Robyn that her eyes aren’t really that pretty, she’s kind of plain, her hair is a nest, she’s clumsy as hell, and I can’t really stand her voice. Robyn is furrowing her brow at me wondering why in the hell I am so interested in this girl. I tell her that love is blind. I genuinely love her for who she is ‘inside.’ I mean, we’re all going to get ugly someday.
5. Sonnet 29
Lover,
Whenever I’m insecure about my body image and various talents that I may or may not possess and I begin to envy other men for their looks or popularity or wealth, the moment I think of you, the whole world brightens, radiates, glimmers and I picture your time-stopping eyes. And time stops. I could be bound and gagged, strung out on a railroad track, and your laugh in my head changes the colours in the sky. Whenever I’m swamped with bills and I am struggling to feed myself I wouldn’t trade places with Warren Buffet or even Carlos Slim Helu, as long as you are with me, dancing, twirling, giggling.
Yours truly,
Me.
6. Sonnet 18
“Some day, when I’m awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.
Yes you’re lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.
With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.
Lovely, never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won’t you please arrange it ?
Cause I love you, just the way you look tonight.
Mm, mm, mm, mm,
Just the way you look to-night.”
-Frank Sinatra, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9ZGKALMMuc
(Source: bee-ell-oh-gee)
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